C'mon get HAAPI (B) "Hey! Always Assume Positive Intent."
People love to take offense to things other people do or say.
(I’m not immune — I often take offense to how much other people take offense to things.)
But if we want to feel happy at work, we have to remember HAAPI: “Hey! Always Assume Positive Intent!”
Essentially, give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they're doing their best they can and that they mean well.
There are so very many things out there that could offend us if we let them. The world is not fair. Other people are not always nice. Things don’t always work the way they should. People are not as clear, or nice, or respectful as they should be. There is not always justice in the world. And for anyone part of an underrepresented group, that fairness-imbalance gets even worse.
But when we take offense at something, the people hurt most is ourselves. We’re the ones who get annoyed, frustrated, and irritable. We’re the ones who have our days ruined and find it hard to get back on track.
Every interaction we have with other people involves assumptions. We don’t know enough, so we fill in the blanks.
And human beings have a well-documented negativity bias. Negative things impact us more, hold more importance in our minds and stick in our memories longer.
When we’re stressed or anxious, we’re even more likely to interpret ambiguous information in a negative way. (Ever read otherwise-neutral text messages from friends as if they were saying it in a snooty, condescending voice? Just me?)
For whatever reason, we are prone to assuming negative intent.
Against all rational thinking, we assume the other person is mad at us, wants to demean us, is trying to pull one over on us, is horrible at their job, or maybe just an idiot.
Even if all this were true (and it’s not, even if it feels that way), we are still better off assuming positive intent.
Assuming positive intent is game-changing. It gives others the benefit of the doubt. It gives ourselves a chance to empathize and better understand others. It creates learning opportunities. It clears up misunderstandings.
Most importantly, it protects our energy and maintains a safe space to make our work fun. And when we bring that positive energy and safe space back to others, they will have more fun too.
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🤔 Thoughts? Any examples of where (perhaps after some reflection) you wish you'd assumed more positive intent?